Be Still

For anyone considering training for a 5K, I highly recommend the Couch to 5K program. However, I would advise you to take it slow. As in, do not run 5 days a week, do not feel like you have to keep up with your running partner and do not run if you are hurting. Also, buy good shoes and replace them as necessary. I was doing so well! I had finished week 6 and that means I was running 25 minutes...a little over 2 miles! If you know me at all, you know this is a HUGE accomplishment since I have never been a runner and I actually hated it all my life. I actually am starting to like it and look forward to my time outside running and thinking through everything going on in life. It was becoming relaxing and enjoyable. And I was so close to my goal of running a 5K in April. SO CLOSE! Now...

My right leg is in a boot. The doctor said according to my x-ray (which I got to see and now have in my living room) I have a stress fracture on my tibia from running. How does that happen? Oh yeah- running too fast and through the pain of a shin splint. So after the doctor told me I was off running for a while I was mad. Mad at myself, mad at my running shoes, mad at my running partner who gets to keep running, mad at God. The doctor also told me when I do start training again I have to start over and take it slow. And then, to add to that, I had a flat tire when I got home. Fortunately I just made a new friend who so willingly came out to change it for me and put the spare on so I could drive to the tire store the next day. He made sure to remind me I had to drive slow on the spare. I kind of laughed it off. By the way, I was late to work the next day because I had to drive slow. And it was hard to walk down the stairs.

That night I was still mad. I didn't want to talk to God or read my Bible. So, being the amazing God He is, He kept bringing a verse to my stubborn mind. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) I couldn't stop thinking about it! I googled it and found the Hebrew translation is "rapha" and literally means "to be weak, to let go, to release". I realized that maybe God is trying to tell me something. Maybe He's telling me to slow down. Maybe He is telling me to give it up to Him. Maybe, I just need to be still and let Him drive. Ironic that we have been studying these very concepts in church on Tuesday nights...or maybe not. Maybe I'm just that stubborn.

I've had the boot on for less than a week and have definitely had to slow down. It's hard to push the gas pedal while I drive (don't worry-the brake pedal is much easier), I have to take stairs one at a time (and have almost fallen many times), I can't walk fast, and I'm tired. I've had to be weak, I've had to let go and I've had to release control. I've had to let down my pride and let other people help me. And you know what? I'm ok! Everything is still ok. He's still got the whole world in His hands. It's not going anywhere!